NO! I said to myself, I will watch Andrew Solomons’ latest talk I found on TED here again about forging meaning and see if I can make myself feel better! Entitled ‘How the worst moments in our lives make us who we are’ I was almost put off the entire talk thinking it would be quite dismal. In fact it’s not, it’s a very honest and grounding talk.
Today I turned down 2 invites and spent some time wondering if my daughter really is happy watching movies with me, and then I thought about checking Facebook… so knowing it makes me feel disconnected and remembering my commitment to write a post when I think of Facebook, I said to myself, I will pour out some troubles that have been on my mind…
But instead I watched that talk and I’m glad I did.
There’s something about spring days; so warm they are almost summer-like, which normally energise me. Today it made me feel like I was missing out. The afternoon at the friends house with a pool and the party tonight were all too hard given how tired I was feeling and having no-one else to share the driving with, both of the friends living 40 minutes drive away, here I am at home.
Forge meaning and build identity from adversity, Andrew Solomon says. I, like he, identify with the lower end of the scale in that I have also never seen a Burmese jail and I also am not gay and have not suffered those bigotries, but almost a year spent with various forms of illness and it’s prejudices is certainly something.
Solomon says ‘I was at war with myself and I dug terrible wounds into my psyche’ and I recognise that too at times over my life and recently.
It’s worth a look – I guarantee you, you’ll take something from it.