It’s 8:30pm on a Friday night and I’m fatigued. I was going to write exhausted but I feel like that expression should come with strenuous activity, and I haven’t done any.
Let’s see, what have I done this week? Said no to a promising new job because of the 4-day induction training course in Sydney. Said no to a Fringe show (which normally I live at!) because it starts at 10pm. Said no to a work awards night that I haven’t missed in the 10 years I’ve worked there (even last year).
Looked after a 3 year old all week with only a half day break during which I worked, talked to the promising job people, and dealt with a plumber. OK it’s been a mentally exhausting week. Today my daughter and I watched a movie, played our imaginative games where mostly I lie down and she brings me things and went to the library and the supermarket, where she decided she was too tired to walk and I had to push a unwieldy kids car trolley around with her in it. Have you ever tried to turn in one of those??
I stayed up too late last night trying to finish my book (due back at the library) and now I’m tired. It could also be changes in my diet, I’m trying to remove caffeine (6/7 times this week I have not succeeded) and a bit of sugar has crept back in since Christmas. It really is addictive that stuff!
The fatigue is not too awful but it’s dragging me downwards, making me want to put my head down, like one of those wooden segmented dolls that collapse when you press a button in their base. It has been a tough month for sleep, I’ve had so much on my mind and it often races at night and I don’t sleep well. I also ran out of Magnesium tablets and don’t like the replacement powder I bought instead. Supplements are a big expense for me at the moment, possibly around $200 a month and I’m wondering if I shouldn’t just let them all go and see what happens. I probably won’t, fear will get me.
I should get a break over the weekend, with the little one off to her Dad’s for Saturday night and during those small hours here’s my list of things I’d like to do:
- clean the bathroom
- do the dishes
- buy some mulch and put in down
- plan my blog posts for a travel blog I’m starting
- read my book
- watch an episode of Narcos
- watch the Saturday night X-Files pre Season 10 starting
Here’s what I should do:
- read a book