Day One:Fail

Starting the Arbonne 30 days to healthy living plan today was to include giving up alcohol, caffeine, dairy, wheat, sugar – all the stuff we know isn’t great for you – and I’d taken the plan literally, intending to have 2 supplement shakes and keep my ‘healthy’ meal to share with my daughter in the evenings.  My thoughts were breakfast is always a rush and lunch is easily ignored so replace them with shakes and away we go.

So I thwarted myself immediately by having a few glasses of red wine last night, in fact yesterday I loaded up on almost everything I shouldn’t have – coffee, chocolate donuts, sweet biscuits – like some sort of execution row last meal (or meals I should say).

So this morning I really was hungry and a shake didn’t make me feel excited at all, whereas eggs, toast, tomatoes and bacon did!  I capitulated on the plan above 3 minutes into the plan, by deciding that I actually didn’t want to lose weight (it’s right I don’t really need to lose heaps) and that the healthy living plan would be best achieved using one shake replacement.  I stacked up all the thoughts like ‘I’ve always had reservations about meal replacement anyway’, ‘I’ll still be eating healthy’ (eggs/bacon/toast?).  But you know what?  My almost complete turn around made me feel excellent!  It actually put a spring in my step this morning!  There is something appealing about setting yourself a tough goal and then letting yourself off the hook that feels amazing!  And I’m not being cynical here.  It really did.  Perhaps my goal was too tough?  Or perhaps I’m just a wuss.

I decided I wanted to lose 3 or 4 kilos last week after catching sight of myself in a photo at my daughter’s sports day.  It was the confirmation of what I’d been noticing with my jeans, that about 3 or 4 kilos had settled on my waist due to a recent relaxing of the ‘no-bread and no-donuts’ rule.  It’s incredible how carbs really do sit on your tummy and waist (in women) and that old saying ‘a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips’ – whilst being exaggerated and surely an advertising slogan selling diet pills – has some truth in it.  These are the foods that make you gain weight really fast.

So I laughed at my fail for quite some time but I managed to get back on track and have a vanilla shake for lunch with a daily fibre boost.  It tasted fine, if a bit like a gritty milkshake, and I felt full afterwards which is the intention.  A slightly odd sensation, drinking something that makes you feel full but one I suppose I’ll get used to.  I had one cup of herbal tea and no other snacks, but I felt really hungry around 5pm.  I find the afternoon is one of my most challenging times, along with nighttime after my daughter is in bed and I can safely remove the chocolate from it’s daytime hiding place.

It was a long day of working and feeling behind the eight ball all day.  Sometimes my job feels like that.  Overall I managed it and the shake thing made it simple to just have something to eat quickly.  I’m guilty of working through lunch even when I’m hungry because I don’t want to break the momentum of my work.  I’m pretty sure that my next hurdle will be the shakes though and feeling bored with the flavour.  You can add fruit if you want so that might help for a while.

I’m not going to beat myself up about my very quick change in plan but I do probably need to work out what I intend with this 30 days in November.  Am I going to stick to it strictly or not?  And if not, why am I doing it?  Like later today, I was disappointed when I realised the Fizz sticks actually have caffeine in them!  They’re essentially a sports drink to give you a boost and I had one about 4pm after a hurried nap when I felt flat, and it had a good effect on me obviously, because it’s caffeinated.  I suppose I can still claim the result of having removed soy from my diet though.

It seems to be all about what I can force myself to do, somehow proving to myself that I have the strength to make some changes.  It is important to me that I at least try and stick to the plan, to get myself back on track with food and stop the ‘rewarding’ with foods that are bad for me.  People have claimed that once you’ve broken the sugar cycle that you actually feel happy rewarding yourself with a banana.  I’m dubious but I’m willing to believe anything at this point.

So what am I doing it?  Because it’s here.  It was offered with support.  I want to not have to think about food so much.  With my daughter being a bit of a picky eater, meaning every meal involves some level of disappointment and cajoling for both of us, I really just want to take the pressure off myself and preparing 6 different meals each day.  I hope to save some money and some time and I want to see where I can take the new energy I’ve regained over the last 6 months.  See if it can be boosted more.

On to Day 2… before that, can I have a small square of dark chocolate please?

  

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