I've been writing mostly in a separate diary recently, I'm trying to pour everything out. It works sometimes to keep me writing when I don't feel like pouring it all out into the world. I've noticed I write a lot about 'I' and 'me'. Understandable I suppose but I'm trying to find new ways to … Continue reading Make hay while the sun shines
Im my collating past results and re-reading posts, so far it’s been all downhill… Here I am 8 months in, almost 2 years ago, with a list of things I hope to do when I’m better and I now can, although I’m not completely better. This is encouraging.
It’s felt like a very long time, this last 8 months and I know (or hope) that one day this too, will have passed and we can all look back with ‘gosh, remember that year I was so sick?’. Fingers crossed!
When I’m all fixed I will:
Take my daughter to the zoo to pat the quokkas
Go out for dinner with adults, at night time!
Visit my friends for coffee
Walk to work and back (it’s only 10 minutes)
Clean my house myself
Walk to the beach with my daughter
Its not a massive list of requests! A quite reasonable one I think, it’s not like I’m a professional dancer and want to begin training daily. Sometimes I wonder how sick I am below the surface, particularly when I have a reaction like the last few days to some vacuuming and tidying. My life and expectations have been slowly lowering…
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This week the hairdresser noticed how much thinner my hair is and showed me around the back where it's breaking away at the ends. I've been noticing it for a while now but it seems really easy to ignore things you hope will improve and not notice how long its been going on. Like my neighbour, … Continue reading Taking note of hair loss (& everything!)
The doctor has diagnosed me as hypothyroid again. I've been noticing all the symptoms individually and I'm not going to beat myself up but they're damn obvious! So I'm writing them below to remind myself and then in the future I hope I realise it sooner because the doc has upped my T3 and hopefully that will … Continue reading Ok so it’s clear now
I haven't posted in 3 months and that's a shame because now I can't easily look back and recognise what's been going on. The doctor upped one of my medications back at the end of January and suggested an appointment for June, giving me the impression it was all going to get better. I now … Continue reading Is it ok?
I can spend hours searching online for answers if the mood strikes me. I fall in and out of feeling the need to search for similar stories to mine and looking for new research, concepts or thoughts. I still feel like I'm looking for what is wrong with me and expecting to find one answer … Continue reading Some lists are good.
It's that annoying time of the year when the days are getting longer, the sun is rising earlier and I'm waking up at ridiculous times again. We should be rejoicing as spring comes but this winter is really hanging on and being a pain in the butt. This time last year we were well into … Continue reading Hey! Fever…
The struggle I face mainly is with my own mind. Tasks become apparent that I need to do or even want to do and my mind immediately starts planning, preparing, scheduling and worrying. How can I fit in the shops before I get my daughter? Should I wait till she's here, no she doesn't like the shops, … Continue reading I can and I will
...last winter feeling the cold inside my bones and the terrible worry of wondering if I might be sick forever. Never being able to do more than one thing like grocery shopping or going to the library with my daughter, in one day. Waking up feeling tired, feeling heavy in my limbs and struggling to pull myself … Continue reading I remember
At 40, I was dealt an opportunity to get off the merry-go-round. To halt the meaningless pursuits of my life, to say goodbye to a job that preached endlessly about reward and recognition but didn't recognise me when I was down. To take stock, slow down and recognise and value what was important. It was … Continue reading bending