I’m really tired. What I think is happening now is that my body is doing a decent job of recovering and continuing to find strength and get on with life but my mind is over-worked. It’s worrying and thinking and turning over situations, questioning everything, trying to find answers and work out what happened and … Continue reading Day 25: Free from second guessing
Watching Insight a few nights ago, the show featured athletes debating the topic of endurance racing, and a term stuck in my head. ‘The perception of effort’ was described as the state of mind people can perceive whilst attempting something they think is beyond their physical limits. They develop a phase in their thinking where … Continue reading Day 24: Perception of effort.
Ever since I ‘got sick’ nearly three years ago, I’ve been on the path and in the process of slowing down. I remember the idea was first introduced to me by the GP who told me about it in the context of chronic fatigue. Pacing. It meant thinking about the amount of energy you need, … Continue reading Day 15: Slowing down
Day three started normally enough. I felt tired and groggy but put that down to being woken up many times in the night by my daughter who I was pretty sure was coming down with something. I’d planned a busy day of achieving work goals ahead and was feeling quite blue about the prospect at … Continue reading Day Three: Argh the headache!
November is going to be about changing stuff. Changing habits, changing diets, changing thought patterns... because none of them are really working for me. They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result right? Time after time, I have attempted to change my habits and even though I … Continue reading Change
Today I read a quote about creativity ... "The creative process does not travel in straight lines. It thrives in the undefined spaces in between." and the idea resonated with me and my experience of recovery. It 'aint a straight line! Some days you feel good and think you're getting better, the next day you … Continue reading Straight lines
Back in June I made some changes to my medications, specifically the time of day I took the T3 and T4, which helped. I suffered less fatigue, slept better, less brain fog and I thought 'This is it! I've found out what's wrong with me and this is when I finally get better!'. But since … Continue reading Where am I?
I've been writing mostly in a separate diary recently, I'm trying to pour everything out. It works sometimes to keep me writing when I don't feel like pouring it all out into the world. I've noticed I write a lot about 'I' and 'me'. Understandable I suppose but I'm trying to find new ways to … Continue reading Make hay while the sun shines
Im my collating past results and re-reading posts, so far it’s been all downhill… Here I am 8 months in, almost 2 years ago, with a list of things I hope to do when I’m better and I now can, although I’m not completely better. This is encouraging.
It’s felt like a very long time, this last 8 months and I know (or hope) that one day this too, will have passed and we can all look back with ‘gosh, remember that year I was so sick?’. Fingers crossed!
When I’m all fixed I will:
Take my daughter to the zoo to pat the quokkas
Go out for dinner with adults, at night time!
Visit my friends for coffee
Walk to work and back (it’s only 10 minutes)
Clean my house myself
Walk to the beach with my daughter
Its not a massive list of requests! A quite reasonable one I think, it’s not like I’m a professional dancer and want to begin training daily. Sometimes I wonder how sick I am below the surface, particularly when I have a reaction like the last few days to some vacuuming and tidying. My life and expectations have been slowly lowering…
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This week the hairdresser noticed how much thinner my hair is and showed me around the back where it's breaking away at the ends. I've been noticing it for a while now but it seems really easy to ignore things you hope will improve and not notice how long its been going on. Like my neighbour, … Continue reading Taking note of hair loss (& everything!)