When I got sick, coming up on 3 years ago now, my life was hijacked and became about recovering and mis-understanding my recovery and confusion. The process of looking for what was wrong, trying different approaches and recognising what I could and couldn't do, left me quite directionless as far as work, relationships and achievement … Continue reading Not one direction?
Today I read a quote about creativity ... "The creative process does not travel in straight lines. It thrives in the undefined spaces in between." and the idea resonated with me and my experience of recovery. It 'aint a straight line! Some days you feel good and think you're getting better, the next day you … Continue reading Straight lines
Ever had a good week that you felt lifted by, enjoyed, almost normal and loving life... followed by a bad one that just eclipsed the entire good feelings and not only sent you back to square one but one hundred squares minus square one!? For so many reasons this is me this week. What's hard … Continue reading This week has been so shit
I'm feeling pretty lucky. It's been almost 2 weeks since I adjusted the thyroid medications (see last post) and I'm continuing to feel pretty good. I still have some odd complaints, aches in my hip and back and my hands are usually still achey in the mornings but I'm sleeping really well and waking up … Continue reading Stop the madness!
I've been writing mostly in a separate diary recently, I'm trying to pour everything out. It works sometimes to keep me writing when I don't feel like pouring it all out into the world. I've noticed I write a lot about 'I' and 'me'. Understandable I suppose but I'm trying to find new ways to … Continue reading Make hay while the sun shines
Im my collating past results and re-reading posts, so far it’s been all downhill… Here I am 8 months in, almost 2 years ago, with a list of things I hope to do when I’m better and I now can, although I’m not completely better. This is encouraging.
It’s felt like a very long time, this last 8 months and I know (or hope) that one day this too, will have passed and we can all look back with ‘gosh, remember that year I was so sick?’. Fingers crossed!
When I’m all fixed I will:
Take my daughter to the zoo to pat the quokkas
Go out for dinner with adults, at night time!
Visit my friends for coffee
Walk to work and back (it’s only 10 minutes)
Clean my house myself
Walk to the beach with my daughter
Its not a massive list of requests! A quite reasonable one I think, it’s not like I’m a professional dancer and want to begin training daily. Sometimes I wonder how sick I am below the surface, particularly when I have a reaction like the last few days to some vacuuming and tidying. My life and expectations have been slowly lowering…
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Yesterday was spent just hanging with my 5 yr old. I am often so flat these days that it just feels like the best thing to do is to stay home and find stuff to do here. She seems to enjoy it, but I worry about when she’s older, will I have kicked this problem by … Continue reading Thyroid is the word…
This week the hairdresser noticed how much thinner my hair is and showed me around the back where it's breaking away at the ends. I've been noticing it for a while now but it seems really easy to ignore things you hope will improve and not notice how long its been going on. Like my neighbour, … Continue reading Taking note of hair loss (& everything!)
It's not been an easy week, for some reason. I've needed long naps a couple of times ( yes I know, after mentioning I didn't need them anymore). Sometimes it's hard to work out where to place the blame. The 5 year old still comes in most nights and interrupts my sleep, sometimes she sleeps well … Continue reading Reminders
I haven't posted in 3 months and that's a shame because now I can't easily look back and recognise what's been going on. The doctor upped one of my medications back at the end of January and suggested an appointment for June, giving me the impression it was all going to get better. I now … Continue reading Is it ok?