… and now I feel out of touch with my previous direction, and have so many fresh ideas on my mind that I am stifled and don’t know where to start. Whilst this is actually a welcome feeling, too much creativity often causes me to procrastinate and produce nothing.
Travelling overseas last week was a triumph of many kinds as I wrestled with anxiety prior to leaving, an emotion I’ve become used to recognising this year. Fears, worries, intrusive thoughts that seem irrational and completely possible at the same time. They disappeared once I embarked on the journey, as these feelings often do, as soon as you are in the middle of what is was you feared.
Being away and coping with fatigue was an even greater triumph. Fatigue found me, but I didn’t crash. I didn’t fall over in a heap. The world didn’t stop turning. I rested, I recovered. I enjoyed almost every single minute of my trip away, which is more than I can say for the last 10 months. Anxiety made a brief return at 5am one morning and was shushed by a repeated mantra I have currently, which deserves its own line.
“All good things will come to me”
It’s incredibly soothing to repeat over and over to yourself – try it, and see.
A day trip to a spice garden – check out the sites’ link here and don’t be fooled by its incredibly slick-looking set up – was surprisingly inspiring. Before a detailed cooking class, that still scents my hands with curry aroma, we were taken on a guided walk along the shady, winding path, past pools and lilies and given a history of local spices by our guide, Joseph. Two things he said really stayed with me. That in Penang, the daily greeting was not ‘How are you?’ but ‘Have you eaten?’ and that he was extremely careful about who he let make him food because of the huge responsibility attached to nourishing someone.
As we wandered lazily through the lush foliage, I considered my own Australian attitudes to food, which draws from many cultures, and certainly prides itself on dinner (or Barbies!) as a way of family celebration, but that overall my own dedication to sourcing fresh foods, or considering their origin has been lazy. I can also remember so clearly at 24 moving to the UK and being astounded to see fruit and vegetables in the local Tesco’s that was already better travelled than I was. I hadn’t seen (or noticed) this in Australia before then, however now it is common place to see out of season foods and fruits in the supermarkets and this is skewing our ability to eat well and be naturally in sync with nature.
The experience made me determined to find out more about my own food and water, here, not using ideas from the UK or USA where life and land is different. Us western-based societies seem to have a one-size-fits all approach to health (and fashion, and money and lifestyle and…) and I look forward to the day this trend is rejected fully.
That’s about it for tonight, I have been working on water sources and ‘clean’ cleaning today, but since they are more than simply about me, they require more thought before writing 😉